The Unavoidable Suicide
He gunned down himself without any trepidation. The sound of the shoot was shrilly spread, and overly the blood poured on the floor of his room. The tidings were errantly released between people, and no one sent an errand to his paramour, so the news about the departed came so late. His spirit was softly slipped from his gory body and it ascended to a very far place, where it was asked, to choose how it liked to spend its life before judgment day. It was very happy because it somehow got rid of the painful feelings that it had. It became more joyful when two angels came after a long time of waiting. They asked, "Why did you commit suicide?" Thence no one lies. With pleasure it said, "I cannot live with the one I loved, so I slew myself, it was due to the affliction of the affection." Notably it saw that these two lapis angels never affected by any thing around them, they only ask and listen, no signs or gestures appeared on their faces. They told it that they would offer up to a long time to live until trumpet blows, announcing the last day of life, it did not understand what both of these angels meant, it questioned to make clear of what they already said. They told it, that it can choose the way it liked to live in this period. Enthusiastically it asked, "Can I choose to live on the earth?" Their responses were. Yes. It chose to live on the earth, but before it was sent, they asked it to choose only one sense of the five senses. It stayed up to know what is the most sense can help it to be somehow active and happier in the duration that it would live. It discussed the matter with itself, "They said that eyes belong to sight, and eyes are part from the heart, blind hardly love, and love is blind, to touch and to hear without making the one who is touched or who is heard feels me, it will be all in vain, I will choose sight, to see the people, my family and my beloved." It told them that it decided to choose sight as the sole sense from the other four senses. The two angels bestowed it the sight, told it, that it can go wherever it liked to go, as soon as the place is wished to be visited. When it knew that, it became happier, after it got this feature, it became so agile and sprightly spirit, and it could feel its jocund and jovial soul. It thought that when the spirit leaves the body behind, it will be a terrible calamity. When the angels set it free, it set off the long journey; the first place leapt to its mind was its beloved's place. As it knew, wherever the person or the place was, quickly would reach it, its beloved was in the airport waiting for her sister who came from Helsinki, it could not believe that it can see its beloved smiling to her sister, how they hug and how cheerfully its beloved conversed with her sister after a long absence, the spirit could focus on the mouth of its beloved, watched over every motion the lips made, then it moved to her crystal eyes, wherein, it found its source of life. It said, "Life of them is not life of me." Then it stood on the shoulder of its beloved, making itself surveying every part of her, it was so happy to see its beloved from very short distance, from her shoulder, when in real life it could not stay with her, shoulder to shoulder. It jumped from the right to the left side, watching her ears, her hair, her neck, her ornaments but it did not see the necklace that it always saw her wearing it. They took a taxi, it is sad because it could not hear her voice, or listen what they were talking about. It missed her voice, and her inaudible soft tone. It asked itself, "Why did she not look pale? Me thinks she does not know about the suicide." But her joyful mouth and her happy face intercepted its self-conversation, because it could not ignore its beloved while she was smiling or laughing, but this laughter assured it, that she did not heard the tiding of death. It recognized that it was set apart from that body which enclosed it. It felt that it never belonged to it after this separation, and it wondered how the spirit easily poured out about the true feelings. Along the way to home its paramour was asleep, it might because she early woke up, it could keep an eye on her eyes and on her innocent face, it wished that it could touch it, said to itself, "Alack I chose to see, I rejected the feature of touch, but what is the benefit of regret now? Anyway I am so happy right now." It remembered its family, wished to visit them………. It found its mother was weeping and wailing on both the body it dwelled before and on the spirit which is itself now, it came on its mother eyes tried to draw a sign that it is in here, then moved to came on her bosom to feel how deeply it was cherished in it, its eyes blubbered when it saw the way its mother was crying, the way its brother and sisters were wailing, and how they arrayed the mourning attrite. "What can I do?" it said, then profoundly poured out what was inside of it, "what can I do, she kept away from me, she did not make me feel that I am special, I could not bear the pain for all these year, four years of love and affection, I was enamored by her spirit, by her nature and personality, I never knew why she disregarded me for all these years, why did she ignore me whenever I tried to tell her about my feelings toward her? Why? I did not know why? In her eyes I found myself, her eyes reflected myself to me, I found out that she is the only one, the only one I love in all my life, but she made sure to be away from me, I did not know, when I looked at her eyes, I felt that she felt the same feelings I had, late when she talked to me or when she dealt with me she proved to me that she did not feel what I felt, after every meeting and when we took leave, she never looked back to know if I looked back, I was the heartsick lover, and she was the block-hearted ignorer, though I loved her, and I waited for the day she would pour out some of her inward feelings, but she did not do it, her valour prevailed my weakness. Is not love bold? To disregard one's affection is a sheer weakness, while to exchange the same feelings with whom you are in love is a quite humanity, she is human and more, she is extraordinary prissy girl whose deeds based on philanthropy, she knew nothing about misanthropy, so why did not she agree my affection, I remember that once I asked a girl I already knew. If one's love appeared through out his deeds, via his words, reflected on his eyes, would not the beloved feels that love? At that time she answered, for sure he/she would feel this love and from the vary beginning. I also remember another girl who told me that the girl feels deeply if she is loved. So I am sure she knew that I loved her, she never reacted when I treated her in private way, and I was disregarded when courteous words uttered from my mouth. For four years I wailed and wept, I found that my problem was like predicament matter, my tardy decision fallen out after heavy despair, sadness drove me to commit suicide, but now I am somehow happy to see her whenever I want".